Universus Umbra
by The Original Ragna Terumi
Summary: <html><head></head>Everything dies!</html>
1. Terror

**Ehahahaha! Time for. Some. Fun! **

**EahahHappy Halloween! Just gonna say it's the same Tao from our previous works of...I'll let you decide! Ehahaha no serious it's the smart one! Let's go have fun with The Rules Of The Internet! And fuck you in prior if you don't like what happens to Arakune it's just a repeat of real life. Next horror and for real though fuck Relius we don't like him so he's staying M.I.A. or AWOL if you wanna be politically correct about it, you dick. Also because in T.M.M.R. Ritchie manipulated Burret she's well I fucking killed her/him/shemale. Seriously guys don't look into Rachel's eyes her soul is a pedo! I do it and every time she trains to make me drink her roofie tea! This entire thing will be life away from the keyboard. **

**SinDie Die Jager Sie Nine! Snyzin Die! **

**Also Kill and eat Lion Fish!**

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><p>Tsubaki had a cchoice either kill Ragna The Bloodedge or kill Rachel Alucard she walked and came to a conclusion. Clutching the Zero Type Izayaoi she said, "alright Ragna The Bloodedge...I already kill Rachel in that Blazen comic, so a place where he'd never go. Would it be Torifune the Academy City? Even with his body's new ass-fuckin' power the bountry hunters will still want him, even his fans would. So I'll head to good ol' Torifune first!" Decided miss Yayoi. So Tsubaki hopped on the nearest train to Torifune and sat down near a window seat. (Ragna The Bloodedge) she had thought as the train started moving. (RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE!)<p>

"Well this is shit!" Azrael said kicking a rock as he walked around and a door opened "so the escaped convict, nice, nice," he said walking through the door and closing it. "Man did it suck in there I didn't even have a meal" he said like everything that came from his mouth it was gay. Looking around The Mad Dog was approached by Amane before he could sense him "the fuck are you an Observer or some fancy shit like that?" He asked the Lunatic Dancer. "Well that's for me to know and you to find out" Replyed Amane "Arg you always do this shit, next your gonna say 'I don't have the will to fight' now tell me before you face The Terror," reasoned, yes reasoned Azrael. Amane just stared at him, "do it. Just seriously and actually do it dun. Do it."

"Ack shit, shit! Ah what the hell just seriously I was fuckin' scared for my life! Where the hell did I fucking go?" Swore Yuuki as he was back in Hazama's head and the green haired troll had stopped the bleeding and looked at Pratinum's dead body. "Always gotta come prepared" he said to himself, "oh hey so your back." Hazama said to Yuuki. "Yeah of course, I'm not going anywhere bro" Yuuki told him. "Hey do you think I'll get to fuck most importantly Konoe in this dimension? Bro" Hazama asked putting his fedora back on. ''If you know where to stick your dick this time bro!" Yuuki snarkily retorted. Hazama saw something in the distance, "is that is that Jubei?" He asked and got up from his spot and walked for a few seconds. "Oh haha haha ha EHAHA Oh damn shit n-ahem." Hazama cleared his throat. "It is, he looks dead" then Hazama looked up at the Embryo "yeah it would be a nut buster if I couldn't use Twin Snakes." He said feeling the lack of seither, then someone tackle him to the ground! "Ack shit what the hell is this? I let my guard down?!" He swore. "Nii-san, notice me and come pick strawberries~" Hazako cooed using Jin's voice. "Argh shit DON'T do that Hazako, Get off me!" He shouted and his sister stood up. He turned to face her "where is the other one?" He asked her and then he was on the floor again. "I'M RIGHT HERE BRO!" Yuuko screamed like one of Ragna's fan gir...Oh wait, hehehe. "First my sister and now you what is Kuvaru magickally going to come out the Culdron and glomp me?!" He asked once he was on his feet again and dusted himself off. "Shrug" Ragna had said Hazama just looked at the hentai version of himself and Hazako. ''Yeah I know I forgot about Kimiko but for now let's get to MY office we all know that we will actually have days now. Phantom!" He said and Hazako rested her neck on his left shoulder. "Which one?" She asked. "Your batshit. And mine!" (Brb dying of laughter) Yuuki had said and just left.

"Huh? Father! Mom, sis have you seen father?!" Carl had asked looking around in the forest with a smirk on his face he knew who was coming next. "Well if it isn't the gay boy with Team BB guns very own harmen, what you swip the Specs. Of Eros a mother and sister fucker?" Yuuki asked obviously trolled him. "Ye-NO! What do you want pervert?!" He asked blushing madly! "Oh your calling me a perv and your the one with the Niki Manaij pictures of your phone!" Retored the troll. "No matter how many times you asked, you can't have any. I won't even tag you in them." Carl told Yuuki. "Ah fuck I've been bested, pwn'ed come on I'll return those dolls back to normal." Carl wasn't even angry that his family was called dolls he just followed Terumi.

"Azure...Why is the seither...Not working...WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT?" Arakune was asking as he scampered then because be was bewildered Arakune had pushed a novice mage down and couldn't help but innocently notice what he was reading! "Soul possession Args Magnus! Personality override Args Magnus!" He said with power from his solar plexi chakras and the young man went pale! "Ah fuck! I am one -shit!" He said as Arakune entered him. Suddenly visions of death over came him, "hm." There were six of them each vearicfying child death in Torifune. The he looked up at the Embryo and walked away.

And that's chapter one! If you don't like it eat me like Bert does to Eren's mom!


	2. But The Sound

rori

Alright bitches! And I am a animal person so your welcome, arc two is upon you!

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><p>Jin had just woken up he had been mumbling something and shot out of bed, "Ragna!" He called out and when he got out of bed Jin began looking around the room. ''What is this sense of dread?''He sad the entire room was replete with death, ''Saya never felt like this.'' He said as he surveyed the area and walked outside into the halls. ''Colonel Kagura! Kohunako!'' Jin called out and founded them in Kagura's office. ''Jinny, those guys couldn't save any of those but that's not what this dark aura is about.'' Kargura had said. ''Then what, what is this?'' Jin asked. ''We don't know.'' Hibiki answered, and they waited until Kokonoe came in. ''Jin, your awake.'' He said. ''I'm not stupid, Kokopuffs you drink that special water again?'' He asked and Kokonoe attempted to hit on the top of his head but Jin evaded. ''Shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep! Anyway you were out for three days. We don't even know where Noel is...It's not like her to run off.'' He informed Jin. ''...Tch.'' Scoffed the Major! ''Ah Professor Kokonoe there you are, I'm coming in.'' A male's voice had said. ''chugger!'' Kokonoe said then ducked out. Jin blinked ''I'm not gonna say anything.'' He said then the man walked in and Noel was around his shoulder just then Kokonoe walked in for the first time. ''A little birdie told me you, were lookin' for me, just who are you?'' She asked Rotte smiled and Noel stayed by his side ''Oh come now Professor Kokonoe it's me Rotte Carmine.'' He said with a smile. They all look at him in disbelief and he still smiled. ''C'mon now, I know I don't look anything like him <em>however <em>but you make do with what you have at your..Heh disposal I couldn't find Colonel Relius earlier so I figured he disappeared, so I came here.'' Before he finished he laid the documents on Kagura's table. Next Colonel Kagura picked them up and both he and Hibiki read them. Kagura was seemingly shocked ''Is this legal is looks like black magick.'' He said then sat down. ''Ara-no Rotte where did you find these?' He wanted to know desperately so. Rotte smiled again ''I quite literally and actually bumped into a novice sorcerer and studied them after the fell out of his hands and too the floor!'' He said, ''What? What the hell's he talking about?! Black magick?! Let me see!'' Kokonoe said looking at the files. ''I want to join the good guys I heard that the former Imperator, or is it Saya, or is she Hades Izanagi...Izanami? Either way I would like to join you guys.'' He told then and that point Noel went to the side of her friends. ''But your just a damn extension of my subconscious how are you even here?'' Kokonoe protested. ''Ah, well. I am..Was...Am? Go ahead stop thinking off me. Wait WHAT do you just say? I'm...Actually contrasting what illegal dark args mangus I just discovered that isn't so hard to believe,'' He said. ''If I stop thinking of you, then I die too! Wait why did I tell you that? Fuck whateves not like you'll ever use it against me.'' She said. ''I have to go check on Tager.'' Kokonoe started walking away ''your creepy you know that? Like a knockoff Creepypasta character to be exact.'' Kagura told Arakune.

Tsubaki had made if off the train in one piece and began looking for Ragna The Bloodedge and when she found him he was talking to two girls who unusually facsimiles of him she got closer then hid quickly. Then was overcome by an death sense of death. ''Arhhhhh what the fuck is going on what is this?!'' she screamed before leaning against the wall. Ragna and his new friends walked up to her along with a crowd. ''Hey Subaki are you okay?'' He asked, she looked at him. ''..Ragna..Help!'' She groveled and Ragna and his clones followed him to the Military Academy. ''Subaki are you okay, oh and these are my best friends Ragna, and Ragna.'' He said cockily. Tsubaki realized she was laying in a bed and heard Ragna. ''Ragna...The Bloodedge I have to kill you before you die!'' She said before fainting. ''Is she fucking serious?!'' Ragna yelled out looking at the much younger girl. (Yeah, dude totally.) Astral Ragna had answered him, he jumped a little bit. ''Aa what the fuck are you?!'' He asked. (Oh I'm your astral body, kinda like your ghost. Spiritual Ragna says 'SUPRISEED RORTIA-LOVER?', he, Rags wanted me to shouted it.) Ragna went pale. ''Wait so there's a ghost inside of me?'' He squeaked. (actually there's a Ghost In Shell, haha. I'm not undead bro. But I've been talking to astral T-subaki she says physical Tsubaki felt a presence of death.) ''Wait there's a 'astral' inside of her too? And yeah the death, I've been feeling it too, makes me wonder about Cealica and Minevera'' He said having just realized he was talking out loud by the stares and frightened looks in eyes from the voluptuous clones of him! ''Fuck my life I nearly had a heart attack.'' Groaned Ragna.

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><p>Chapter three starts with everyone's favorite spy!<p> 


	3. Melancholy

rori

Alright bitches! And I am a animal person so your welcome, arc two is upon you!

* * *

><p>Jin had just woken up he had been mumbling something and shot out of bed, "Ragna!" He called out and when he got out of bed Jin began looking around the room. ''What is this sense of dread?''He sad the entire room was replete with death, ''Saya never felt like this.'' He said as he surveyed the area and walked outside into the halls. ''Colonel Kagura! Kohunako!'' Jin called out and founded them in Kagura's office. ''Jinny, those guys couldn't save any of those but that's not what this dark aura is about.'' Kargura had said. ''Then what, what is this?'' Jin asked. ''We don't know.'' Hibiki answered, and they waited until Kokonoe came in. ''Jin, your awake.'' He said. ''I'm not stupid, Kokopuffs you drink that special water again?'' He asked and Kokonoe attempted to hit on the top of his head but Jin evaded. ''Shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep! Anyway you were out for three days. We don't even know where Noel is...It's not like her to run off.'' He informed Jin. ''...Tch.'' Scoffed the Major! ''Ah Professor Kokonoe there you are, I'm coming in.'' A male's voice had said. ''chugger!'' Kokonoe said then ducked out. Jin blinked ''I'm not gonna say anything.'' He said then the man walked in and Noel was around his shoulder just then Kokonoe walked in for the first time. ''A little birdie told me you, were lookin' for me, just who are you?'' She asked Rotte smiled and Noel stayed by his side ''Oh come now Professor Kokonoe it's me Rotte Carmine.'' He said with a smile. They all look at him in disbelief and he still smiled. ''C'mon now, I know I don't look anything like him <em>however <em>but you make do with what you have at your..Heh disposal I couldn't find Colonel Relius earlier so I figured he disappeared, so I came here.'' Before he finished he laid the documents on Kagura's table. Next Colonel Kagura picked them up and both he and Hibiki read them. Kagura was seemingly shocked ''Is this legal is looks like black magick.'' He said then sat down. ''Ara-no Rotte where did you find these?' He wanted to know desperately so. Rotte smiled again ''I quite literally and actually bumped into a novice sorcerer and studied them after the fell out of his hands and too the floor!'' He said, ''What? What the hell's he talking about?! Black magick?! Let me see!'' Kokonoe said looking at the files. ''I want to join the good guys I heard that the former Imperator, or is it Saya, or is she Hades Izanagi...Izanami? Either way I would like to join you guys.'' He told then and that point Noel went to the side of her friends. ''But your just a damn extension of my subconscious how are you even here?'' Kokonoe protested. ''Ah, well. I am..Was...Am? Go ahead stop thinking off me. Wait WHAT do you just say? I'm...Actually contrasting what illegal dark args mangus I just discovered that isn't so hard to believe,'' He said. ''If I stop thinking of you, then I die too! Wait why did I tell you that? Fuck whateves not like you'll ever use it against me.'' She said. ''I have to go check on Tager.'' Kokonoe started walking away ''your creepy you know that? Like a knockoff Creepypasta character to be exact.'' Kagura told Arakune.

Tsubaki had made if off the train in one piece and began looking for Ragna The Bloodedge and when she found him he was talking to two girls who unusually facsimiles of him she got closer then hid quickly. Then was overcome by an death sense of death. ''Arhhhhh what the fuck is going on what is this?!'' she screamed before leaning against the wall. Ragna and his new friends walked up to her along with a crowd. ''Hey Subaki are you okay?'' He asked, she looked at him. ''..Ragna..Help!'' She groveled and Ragna and his clones followed him to the Military Academy. ''Subaki are you okay, oh and these are my best friends Ragna, and Ragna.'' He said cockily. Tsubaki realized she was laying in a bed and heard Ragna. ''Ragna...The Bloodedge I have to kill you before you die!'' She said before fainting. ''Is she fucking serious?!'' Ragna yelled out looking at the much younger girl. (Yeah, dude totally.) Astral Ragna had answered him, he jumped a little bit. ''Aa what the fuck are you?!'' He asked. (Oh I'm your astral body, kinda like your ghost. Spiritual Ragna says 'SUPRISEED RORTIA-LOVER?', he, Rags wanted me to shouted it.) Ragna went pale. ''Wait so there's a ghost inside of me?'' He squeaked. (actually there's a Ghost In Shell, haha. I'm not undead bro. But I've been talking to astral T-subaki she says physical Tsubaki felt a presence of death.) ''Wait there's a 'astral' inside of her too? And yeah the death, I've been feeling it too, makes me wonder about Cealica and Minevera'' He said having just realized he was talking out loud by the stares and frightened looks in eyes from the voluptuous clones of him! ''Fuck my life I nearly had a heart attack.'' Groaned Ragna.

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><p>Chapter three starts with everyone's favorite spy!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Lights, splatter action, camera! And rolling? Start the show!  
><strong>

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><p>(Boo!) Astral Ragna had said. "Are you freaking kidding me dude?!" Ragna had been so scared he farted! (Holy shit, no wait shart! Points!) Astral Ragna had said while Astral Makoto high-fived him. Everyone left the room, except Tsubaki because she was still injured. "Mr. Ragna The Bloodedge ?'' She ask perplexed, then she felt the sense of death again and screamed out in pain and drek she is. The only person that came back in was Makoto, "Tsubaki what is it?" She asked worried. "I'm a lesbian," she said. "Um what? I mean I heard that correctly but what the actual fuck? The original shit was changed to you liking Jin." She said. "I have to kill Ragna The Bloodedge " Tsubaki said faking her weakness. "Quit changing the fucking subject," Makoto replied. Tsubaki turned. "Either him or Rachel."<p>

"This is hopeless".

"And get some pussy."

"Cornel Relius, herro are you here excuse me ass?" Hazama had spent the recent intervals searching for Relius, all while he pretended to give a shit along with his sister and...The Hermo. "Ehehehe HAHAHA oh, fuck!" Crackled Hazama, in response his sister took out her phone.

"Wait, did you fags just get off of air gay?!" Hazako asked taking pictures of Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction.

"Yes." Malik said.

"My asshole still hurts," Liam groaned.

"Where's Justin Bieber and his waifuu?" Hazako asked after slowly catching her breath.

''Coming.'' Styles said.

''Lol I have a dirty mind!'' Hazako laughed.

''Are you even real people?'' Ragna asked.

''Yes, boss!'' Xavier.

Ragna was about to clap but the demon-as team Terumi had concluded-made them all feel death again. ''We theorized this is a demon." Hazama said after everyone recovered. In that moment after his explanation Yuuki and Carl had shown up. Hazama didn't bother to pester Terumi with it, he had common sense after all. "Right well''

"Ehahaha! Hey favorite body let's go listen to Brittany Spears' Work Bitch!" He told him while laughing at the pop stars.

"K." Hazama said.

Then Carl got close to One D "you know no real or virtual person respect you right?" He asked.

"Hm. I think your thinking of Summer and Rush." Liam countered.

"Nice troll. But you still suck...Mrs. Yuuko should teach you how to...Defend yourselves." Carl told them and backed away. "I'm pretty sure even though Satan's dead we'll still get money, so who cares?...Ow I just felt super-supernatural pain." Liam said.

"Must've been your soul" Yuuko said.

(Actually Wingwoman I'm fine!) Soul Liam had said.

Hazako mumbled.

(Actually these guys are pieces of shit! Teach them and you'll get money and eggs!)

"Right so mission...Failed we can't find Relius next we should kill Saya and Izanami." Yuuko devised.

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><p>Omake.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

"TORA MEOW LET'S SISSCOR,'' Tao had suggested.

To which Tora just nodded and drooled and spoke. "Then we find Ragna."

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><p>Team Rocket (name change) was back at Hazama's office. "So you just followed guys like us, hey Yuuki merge with me." Hazama said then Yuuki merged with him. "Now give us your fear! Give all of us your negatively evoked feelings! Give us your vivaction! Send it to us in a nice huge tit shaped spear of energy!...You know ever though the other three are unconscious I can still hear them...ANYWAY GIVE ME YOUR DISABILITY TO GIVE A FUCK!" Demanded Hazama.<p>

J

Bieber and friends complied. "So...On the way here you said you were observing Ragna The Bloodedge...Your going to kill him?" He asked.

"Nah, let Tsubaki do it...Much better tear-wanking. Friends killing friends..This lovely man's bloodlust is for Hakumen. What do ya say since we're all going to be killed by a servant of Death sent from the Void in this story, we have a lil' fun!"

"Wait, Hazama bro hold the fuck up, how do I feel stronger just by giving you my negativity?" Xavier asked.

"The long mind fuck version...I the underlord of trolls used Twin Snakes and my own prana to increase the bioelectricity, biopower, and inner power of people who give me what I want." Hazama and Yuuki explained, and Hazako and Yuuko nodded in agreement along with Terumis. "So as my sister is thinking...You kids just got a major power boost, I know Bloodege is in Tofunie...And we'lol meet them there, I say Nines." Hazama said as three sorcerers appeared. "I lift the veil." He chanted in that smexy voice of his.

"Hm... Hazama...T-there are two more of me? Aw shit I hit my head didn't I...Fuck? What, um hello...Are you boys lost?...Where the hell is Celica?!" A very perplexed Konoe was pissed.

"With...Mr. The Blood clot of course...Now, honey..." Hazama replied.

Nine kissed him deeply and passionately and didn't break it. (So we're going to kill everything and troll then, the fuck?) Nine said to Hazzy telepathically as she stumbled into him from the sense of death. "I swear to the dead gods, if I were in Bleach's manga I'd say the spiritual pressure of this guy is respectable...How to we kill him, h-HOLY SHIT BY UNHOLY SHIT IT'S HAZAKO, SUP W-HORE!"

"Slut, slut!" A flailing Hazako had said matching Nine's hype.

"Slut slut you nigga ass bitch! SLUT! SLUT!" Nine said flailing as well.

"Hahahahahaha! Hahaha!" Hazama and Yuuki laughed together.

"Why do I want to scream with One D?" Justin asked.

"Me too!" Xavier said.

"Because your gay magick is still on, you warlocks!" Nine said after hey eyes went insane and rolled to the back of her head. "I ship the rainbow warriors with the painblow's goth...Quickly Hazama impregnate me!" She continued.

"Cough? Yeah uh cough! Your back to your old self, so prepare your orifice my wife."

Xavier cried. "I think I found the one true pairing."

"So no one's gonna come back tomorrow on the gay things?" Liam said with his arms crossed. "Oh shit, I just sensed Luke-san, doesn't he know everyone will die in this fic?"

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><p>Kagura and Hibiki were watching Az after having contained him from Amane. "Something big is going on you guys." Cornel Kagura told them.<p>

"Yeah dude totally." Hibiki said.

Kagura just took a few steps closer to Nishiki, "right so that happened...Guess Mori-san's programming will only work in the next official game."

"Wait hang on! I'm thinking of a black teen!" Hibiki said.

"Ew...But I do think us breaking the I.D. of Team BB as a whole for our own grad-ification would...Not sit too well with mass producing...Wait let me get a coin...And Mori-sensei~" Amane returned in two seconds. "Oh crap! Forgot the porno!" He left again. Then walked back in. "So it landed on tails, I actually prefer both...In either position... And Mori 'Terumi-ecchi what the actual fuck' blah blah blah, 'do you think?' And answered. Well I'm the most fab. Observer With the most swag and, since all our fans are treated like Master-because we've, well geh hun we all know it would be ever better for prostition~"

Only Kagura blinked. "You don't mean business?"

"Noopee! So we have a hallpass! Damn are we gonna fuck shit up! I'm gotta pee." Amane said as Hibiki walked over to the bathroom. "And then I'm gonna fap."

"If I could only spit out my puke...BRO CODE VIOLATION! HIBIKI permadant back seat duty!" Cornel Mutsuki yelled from his office.


	6. Chapter 6

(Help...Us...) Kazuma had said from the depths of Ishana. (Help...Us...This...D-We're going to kill you, the flora, and books...) Suddenly his telepathic wail went silent.

''Capitan Hazako!''

''Yes, Miley I heard my brother too, so he's the one causing this..Neat.'' Hazama said.

(We were cheated...Hazama...Yuuko-san once we're free, get us Chutulu's origin...Help us.) Kazuma spoke again.

''Miley, start screaming, how was the trip on AirLesbian?'' Hazama inquired nonchalantly.

Ms. Cyrus shurgged ''Ask Jackson, I took the Rape Train. It was rapier than a smoking gun!'' She told him before humming.

''Right well, me is off to kill X...You know, and a few other people, touch?''

''Yip! Yip!''

They touched.

"Horrific alliance seal." Hazama chanted.

"I'm here for you bro." Ragna had said.

"He I'm out?"

Then the feeling of death struck again. "Who are you shota?" Ragna-san asked.

The blonde muscular guy dressed in a black robe and olive crown killed him. "I'm the secondary Master of Everything's first r.p. Self don't fuck with the family okay? Now I have to wash these dies out NY hair."


End file.
